Category: English

One Thought Sinking into Hell (Part 1 of 2)

My son, the God who created the heaven and the earth, speaks to setup the laws. It is better to describe that as long as the Creator speaks, the laws and laws of the entire universe, heaven and earth, will follow the direction of His words to fulfill what the Creator once said to people, so that the words spoken by God will be fulfilled. Therefore, it is very important whether He really speaks to you through the Holy Spirit.

Son, it was very hard at the beginning for me to understand how Holy Spirit spoke to me at first. Put it more simply, even if Holy Spirit wanted to talk to me in my heart, I didn’t understand it. I often passed by in my heart and didn’t know. I have written the way Holy Spirit spoke to me and some important experiences in this particular letter, as a reminder for your future spiritual growth. You must keep in mind the experience that I, your father, sharing with you. You have to experience it yourself that Jesus Christ comes into the world to save sinners, because all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. May God protect your hearts and minds, and you will not be afraid to confess your sins and repent to Him because we are all spiritually wounded. God has promised forgiveness in many places in the Bible until the day we meet again.

I divided this letter into four parts, the first one is titled “One Thought Sinking Into Hell”, the second one is “One Thought Repent Longing To Heaven”, and the third and fourth are respectively “Letter to Dad.” and “Letter to My Son”. Parts 1 and 2 are also divided into several sub-sections of about five minutes each, which are convenient for you and the reader to read later. At the end I have something that I want to tell you. You are not going to understand it now. I still want to write it down and leave it for you to read in your future. I also need all the readers to testify that Jesus Christ is the Son of the living God. So, I put it on Internet for readers to witness with me. This is also what I wrote to your grandfather. Your grandfather does not believe that the Lord Jesus is the Son of God. I don’t know what to say to your grandfather so that he can finish listening to my testimony of how the Lord Jesus made me repent and confess my sins. So, I wrote to him. Dad, please be patient and read this letter as my last request, okay? In the last part of this letter, I have something to say to you.

Son, if you can’t remember, you can re-read what I wrote earlier, “Struck down, but not destroyed (Part 1 of 4)“, which contains a detailed account of the situation. At that time, Holy Spirit said to me, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you and your family will be saved.” But after that, for a long time, I didn’t know what a great grace it was! The Heavenly Father, with the Holy Spirit, reminded me in advance of what was going to happen in my Father’s house in the future, so that Dad could recall the Heavenly Father’s promise after it happened, that I could believe in Him by what He said to me, to confess my sins and repent, to surrender to Him and to receive the assurance of eternal life!

To illustrate what I have said above, I want to share with you my experience of repentance. Dad grew up in an idolatrous family and I had two older sisters and a younger brother. When I was in middle school, it was my big sister who took me to know and accept the Lord Jesus as my Savior. Your grandfather and grandmother, when we were very young, used to ask for our future for divination, and the divinator said to them that in the future your younger brother will be very clever. As we grow up, my brother is really smart. He can watch TV shows and studying at the same time, and he can also get good grades. My younger brother later went to an inland province of Canada to study medicine. He is really smart, but he is more difficult to get along with his shrewd and calculating thoughts, especially with girls. It is easy to be friends, but it is more difficult to get along and love. In one of the days of his life, a thought or a question came to his mind. It was an idea saying, “Do I not like women but men?” As a result, he saw an advertisement in the newspaper in which a boy asked to rent a room for another boy. When my brother moved into the house, he became a gay man. He also claimed to be born gay. Later, my brother came to live in the United States. When I came to the United States twenty years ago, he came to the bus station to greet me. After I got to his apartment, he said to me that he liked men and didn’t like women. That day, I had that feeling of thunder on a sunny day, and I just kept asking myself why this happens to me??? When I got up in the morning the next day, the sad tears could be able to flow from my eyes.

Later, I lived in my brother’s apartment for a year, and I tried to change him with the discernment I could think of. I also invited him back to my Christian church at that time, hoping that he might leave his homosexual life because of God’s love or because of the love and mutual care among other Christians. When he seems to have his own friends in the youth fellowship, I seem to have found a glimmer of hope in my heart, and maybe he will slowly change. But when one day I was reading Jude 23 of the New Testament, it said:

“save others, snatching them out of the fire; and on some have ercy with fear, hating even the garment polluted by the flesh.”

When I read, I had a feeling of palpitations. I seemed to see the image of my brother in my heart, which made me very frightened! I asked myself why this happened, but I could not find the answer, and over time I forgot. But not too long later, when I read 1 Samuel 2:33-34 and 3:12-13, it said:

“Yet I will not cut off every man of yours from My altar, so that your eyes will fail from weeping and your soul grieve, and all the increase of your house will die in the prime of life.
And this will be the sign to you which will come in regard to your two sons, Hophni and Phinehas: on the same day both of them will die.”

“On that day I will carry out against Eli everything that I have spoken in regard to his house, from beginning to end. For I have told him that I am going to judge his house forever for the wrongdoing that he knew, because his sons were bringing a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them.”

The appearance of my brother, this time clearly appeared in my mind, and there was a very strong palpitation in my heart, as if if I did not stop something, something great and terrible would happen in my father’s house. Later, after investigation, it turned out that my brother was thinking that as long as he married the opposite sex and through marriage, he could get rid of the homosexual life. I did not know that it was because of the acquiescence or proposal of your grandparents, or that he also hoped that he could change it. In addition, he was a young doctor, and in the church fellowship, there were also some female fellows who were willing to contact him and be friends. I once asked my brother and my parents who knew about this, and naturally it came to the end of an unpleasant conversation with both my brother and my parents respectively. I don’t know what my thought and motivation were at that time, and I don’t know until now, but I just remember that at that time, I had a fear in my heart that I had never had before. I was driven to never let those terrible things happening no matter what. After struggling for a while, I personally told my brother to leave the church fellowship and not to come back right before the fellowship time. My brother tried to know from your mother why I was so determined, and when your mother told him that this was what your brother learned from the Bible, touched by the Holy Spirit, he left without saying much. Moreover, in order to ensure that my brother did not secretly associate with the female members of the youth fellowship in our church, I also told the pastors of the church about this matter. Later, at the suggestion of the pastor, I also reminded a female fellow of the youth fellowship who was closer to my brother that my brother had some personal problems and would not return to the church fellowship in the future. The pastors of the church, who may not know how to deal with me after my brother left the church, in fact, I can’t blame them, because in the process, Dad’s selfness surface emerged, but the angry thoughts that seemed to be drawn across the bridge and abandoned after being used up often appeared in my heart and mind.

Genesis 4:6-7 said it very well:

“Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why is your face gloomy?
If you well, will your face not be cheerful? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.”

Next: One Thought Sinking into Hell (Part 2 of 2)

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Previous: Struck down but not destroyed (Part 4 Of 4)

Struck down, but not destroyed (Part 2 of 4)

My son, let me give you an example. Do you remember that you once told me the Holy Spirit whitewashed the mind of my company colleagues and bosses and they couldn’t answer a simple question? After that, I had a conversation with a friend, sharing salvation, and we talked for a long time. I kept telling my friend that the Lord Jesus is the true living God, but he didn’t believe it. I discussed with him for almost two hours. He explained what I shared about the experience of how the Lord Jesus led me. It was just my personal subjective thoughts. If it is a person who does not believe that Jesus is the Son of God, or a person of other religious beliefs, their explanation, will be very different too. Later, I shared with him how the Holy Spirit helped me at work and resolved the crisis in the team under my management due to a corporate politics at work. However, in the end, I said how the Holy Spirit made me asking a simple question and everyone in the room couldn’t answer it. Because I didn’t want to be refuted by the friend again, I told my friend that the time the other people could not answer the simple question from tens of seconds to tens of minutes. I don’t know why at that moment, the idea of lying appeared in my heart, and I also agreed with that idea, thinking that by saying this, my friend would not be able to refute me. When I said the lie for ten minutes, a small voice suddenly appeared in my heart, and said to me softly: “Do you know that you are lying?” At that moment, the Holy Spirit let me know that I had sin and lie, but I didn’t want to admit it when I was with my friend at that moment. Then, when Dad returned home, the lie I committed could really be forgotten quickly in my mind. However, when Dad was reading the Bible that night, I was reading other books, but because of a bible verse that appeared in my heart, it was Proverbs 16:2:

“All the ways of a person are clean in his own sight,
But the LORD examines the motives.”

I turned to Proverbs Chapter 16 and started to read, and went to Chapter 19. When I reached Proverbs 19:5, it said:

“A false witness will not go unpunished,
    and one who declares lies will not escape.”

At that time, the scene of me telling a lie to my friend flashed in my heart. Although the scene was vague, I should remember it. At that time, I didn’t remember what I was thinking, and I still didn’t want to confess my sin, but when I was reading verse 9, it said there:

“A false witness will not go unpunished,
    And one who declares lies will perish.”

When I was reading, it quickly reappeared in my heart that I was lying to my friend, which made me feel very uncomfortable. Just when I wanted to get up and leave, to escape and no longer want to look at it. The moment I got up, I saw the lie in my heart again. I saw it very clearly in my heart at that moment, as if I was watching my lie there as a third person, so that I could not excuse myself. At that moment, although I was uncomfortable, I knew that the Holy Spirit was reminding me, so I prayed in my heart, admitting that I lied and gave false testimony, offended God, and asked my God to forgive me until my heart regained the peace from forgiveness. So, Dad knows truly from my experience that a false witness and a lying tongue, as stated in Proverbs 6:17 and 19, which are hated by the LORD our God. Just as Proverbs 16:2 said, everything we are doing is clean in our own sights; but only the LORD, the God who created the heavens and the earth, examines the motives. He knows the truth of everything we said, did or thought, and no one in the world can escape His judgment! But Dad is in awe and admiration from the bottom of my heart that the God who created the heavens and the earth does not regard guilt as innocence. On the contrary, He loved me like a biological child, reproaching me and showing me my sin, so that Dad could confess my sin before God. Repented, being forgiven, and continued to walk with God who loves me.

So when you read God’s words, it is normal for this to happen. No matter what God lets you see in your heart through the Holy Spirit, don’t be afraid of it. The God who created the heavens and the earth is full of love and compassion! God will interrogate everything we want to do in the sun or in the dark, even hidden things. But God does this for our good. Just as if you do something wrong, no matter how much we, as your parents, love you, you must admit your mistakes, or even punish you, so that you will know that you have done something wrong. This have to do with preventing you to make mistakes again and again and hence the evil one can enter your heart. As long as you are not afraid, come back to Him and let Him examine you. The first few times, although it is uncomfortable, you will know for yourself that God loves you and will no longer be afraid. The Holy Spirit reminded me the consequences of sin when Dad read the following Bible verses, and our God does not regard guilt as innocence. He loves us, so he disciplines us who belong to Him, and only confession and repentance can keep us walking with awareness of the presence of the Lord.

Genesis 4:7:
“If you do well, will your face not be cheerful? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.”

Ecclesiastes 12:14:
“For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil.”

Matthew 12:36-37:
“But I tell you that for every careless word that people speak, they will give an account of it on the day of judgment.
For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Hebrews 12:5-6, 10-13, 25:
and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons,
“MY SON, DO NOT REGARD LIGHTLY THE DISCIPLINE OF THE
LORD,
NOR FAINT WHEN YOU ARE PUNISHED BY HIM;
FOR WHOM THE LORD LOVES HE DISCIPLINES,
AND HE PUNISHES EVERY SON WHOM HE ACCEPTS.”
…
For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He (our God) disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness.
For the moment, all discipline seems not to be pleasant, but painful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterward it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.
Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble,
make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is impaired may not be dislocated, but rather be healed.
…
See to it that you do not refuse Him who is speaking. For if those did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, much less will we escape who turn away from Him who warns us from heaven.

My son, in your life, even if you don’t have any great success and achievement, compared to the fact that you can’t hear the tiny call of the Holy Spirit in your heart, any success or achievement is nothing. Because you hear the call of the Holy Spirit and respond positively to His voice or teachings are related to your salvation, as stated in John 3:5, the Lord Jesus said:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless someone is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.”

It is also whether you can see or unaware the presence of your God with you in your life, but think that you have the golden ticket to the kingdom of heaven or you are actually become part of the children of God yourself! My son, I repeat, you must remember that day and night, our Heavenly Father has given us the Holy Spirit to every child of God. He is not only giving the Holy Spirit to the pastors, preachers, missionaries or elders of His churches, because we, as the children of God, always need the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit to be saved from a selfish and self-righteous state of mind. The Lord Jesus who loves us will use the Holy Spirit to teach each child of God in different ways in his life. He speaks, or emerges in our heart from the things that happened in our past, to guide our life, return to Him and take refuge in Him. It’s just whether we are willing to listen in our heart and respond positively to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, or leave it out, as if we have never heard or seen it. The Holy Spirit once put the following thoughts in my heart: “You need to know how I communicate with you, just as you know how your wife and sons talking to you, the meanings expressed in their words and the thoughts in their hearts. If you just tell other people, how much you love your wife and son, how they love you, but when you are alone with your wife or son, you are not even know how do they express their thoughts and how they talk to you. Then, you don’t know how to love them, you just use them to show yourself in front of others and in your agenda to raise your social status.” So, when I repented and confessed two years ago, I started to pay attention to how God through the Holy Spirit communicated with me. This is the Holy Spirit’s personal response to my ashamed prayer when I am willing to listen to him attentively, as stated in Psalm 138:6:

“For the LORD is exalted,
Yet He looks after the lowly,
But He knows the haughty from afar.”

So, son, you must remember to learn to humble yourself throughout your life, to return to the throne of God, to learn to listen to the various methods of the Holy Spirit speaking in your heart, to be sensitive to the tiny voice, and to learn to distinguish the source of many inner voices. Distinguish which voice is really come from the Holy Spirit. There was a couple of missionary and they shared with me this, “We, humans, must learn to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit. The best way is to kneel down on the ground, so that our hearts can be humbled. In many years of our life serving God, we find that kneeling down before God, reading the Bible and praying is the most effective way to make us sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit.” This happened more than 20 years ago, but, my son, I honestly tell you that, before I repented two years ago, I never could persevere kneel down in front of God to read the Bible and pray for more than a few days. Even when I knelt down, I always felt like I was reluctant to kneel down. And there were many things in my mind shown up that attracted me unable to concentrate on reading the Bible and praying. In the worst case, I tried to kneel for more than 30 minutes, but I was unable to concentrate on reading the Bible for more than ten seconds. I was constantly attracted by other things that surfaced in my heart. Even though I was still reading on my lip. My mind had already flown to the clouds thousands of miles away thinking about other things that attracting me. A friend once asked me a question. “Since it is so difficult, why do you still keep trying to read the Bible and pray?” Dad thought for the reason why at that time. Then, Dad said from the bottom of my heart, “Because God used to speak to me through the Holy Spirit. Although no one else at that time said to me that the Holy Spirit would speak to us, the Bible recorded the Creator of heaven and earth often talked with people. After the first time the Holy Spirit spoke to me, I knew that the Holy Spirit really living within me, so I wanted to hear what He will say to me again. I don’t know why. After more than 20 years, I still don’t want to give up.” I thank God that He promised in the Bible that those who seek will find Him; those who knock will the door be open for them. It is also recorded in Romans 10:20-21:

And Isaiah is very bold and says,
” I WAS FOUND BY THOSE WHO DID NOT SEEK ME,
I REVEALED MYSELF TO THOSE WHO DID NOT ASK FOR ME.”
But as for Israel, He says, “I HAVE SPREAD OUT MY HANDS ALL DAY LONG TO A DISOBEDIENT AND OBSTINATE PEPOLE.”

Therefore, the person like me, who is disobedient and obstinate to God, whenever I am willing to lower my head and humble down, He let me meet with Him and show Him to me.

Next: Struck down, but not destroyed (Part 3 of 4)

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Struck down, but not destroyed (Part 4 of 4)

My son, don’t blindly approve and believe that God made the new covenant and abolished the old covenant. And think that the words of God recorded in the Old Testament of the Bible and God’s wrath against treacherous and deceitful people are not important. Our Lord Jesus, the Son of God, is using His own precious blood to establish the new covenant, so as to fulfill the old covenant. As stated in Matthew 5:17-18:

“Do not presume that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish, but to fulfill. 
For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke of a letter shall pass from the Law, until all is accomplished!”

The God who created the heavens and the earth loves us very much. Although we don’t know him, the Heavenly Father sent his beloved Son, Jesus Christ, to come to the world. He experienced all the human’s ability to distinguish between good and evil and radiated all kinds of lusts and temptations, but without sin. He leaves us an example, so that we can rely on the Holy Spirit to guide us in our hearts and hope for salvation. My son, but please remember what the Lord Jesus said in John 12:47-48:

“If anyone hears My teachings and does not keep them, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world.
The one who rejects Me and does not accept My teachings has one who judges him: the word which I spoke. That will judge him on the last day.”

So at the end of the world, when our Lord returns, the judgment will first start from God’s house, and we will be judged by God. Don’t believe in the specious theology of grace, saying that God has already forgiven your previous, present and future sins when you accepted the Lord Jesus as the savior of mankind. You don’t need to confess your sins and repent again in your like. My son, Dad tells you that I used to hear some Christians around me often said this. I often prayed for them in prayers when their name came to my mind. Then one day, when I read Psalm 32:3-6, 8-11:

“When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away
Through my groaning all day long.
For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;
My vitality failed as with the dry heat of summer.
I acknowledged my sin to You,
And I did not hide my guilt;
I said, “I will confess my wrongdoings to the LORD”;
And You forgave the guilt of my sin.
Therefore, let everyone who is godly pray to You in a time when You may be found;
Certainly in a flood of great waters, they will not reach him.”

Then, it seems that God used verses 8-11 to answer the prayer of the poet:

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go;
I will advise you with My eye upon you.
Do not be like the horse or like the mule, which have no understanding,
Whose trappings include bit and bridle to hold them in check,
Otherwise they will not come near to you.
The sorrows of the wicked are many,
But the one how trusts in the LORD, goodness will surround him.
Be glad in the LORD and rejoice, you righteous ones;
And shout for joy, all you who are upright in heart.”

Because when I was reading this passage, what my Christian friends said appeared in my heart, I knew that the Holy Spirit responded to me with this passage, just as John 14:26 said:

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and remind you of all that I said to you.”

Then a question slowly came up in my heart, thinking about what kind of people are upright in heart? Then when I read Ecclesiastes 7:29, Holy Spirit let the question appeared in my heart again:

“Behold, I have found only this, that God made people upright, but they have sought out many schemes.”

Thinking back to my question, I realized in my heart that a person who is upright before God will not do what Adam and Eve did. They shirked responsibility for their sins to others, or escaped their own faults. Or even some may think that they are more spiritual or holy than other sinners, and some people are worthy of death as they claimed from what the Bible said. An upright person will confess his sins before God after the Holy Spirit reveals his sins and asks the Lord to forgive him. Like King David, except for the only crime he committed in his life to kill Uriah, and rob his wife, he was still recognized by God that he did not violate everything he commanded in his life except that sin. In addition, the LORD rebuked David through the prophet Nathan for the crime of murder and robbery of other’s wife. David did not refuse to confess his sins similar to the kings of Israel after him, he responded to God positively because of God’s rebuke: “I have offended the Lord!”. Such a person is an upright person. An upright person will listen to the teachings of the Holy Spirit, accept the counsel of the Holy Spirit, confess his sins, and walk in the path of confession and repentance that God is guiding him. And a person who will confess his sins and repent under the guidance of the Holy Spirit will understand the value of salvation, and will not be afraid of his sins being illuminated by the Holy Spirit. As recorded in Luke 1:77:

“To give His people the knowledge of salvation
By the forgiveness of their sins,”

If we do not confess our sins under the work of the Holy Spirit, if we do not repent and our heart of confession is commensurate, if we only hope that after believing in Jesus, we can escape the wrathful words of God when the Lord returns, then the eternal life that God has placed in our human hearts will be impossible to be rooted. Just like we are now, even if we have a citizenship certificate in another country, if we are infected by the COVID-19 virus, we will not be able to enter that country with a citizenship certificate, because we are infected by the virus (sin), just imagine would the Customs Officer of that country let us enter the country? Some people would give it a try, thinking that the customs officer would not know that he was infected with the virus. However, please remember that the customs officer of that country was also our Creator, our King, and our Lord Jesus. He knows whether we have been infected by the virus or not. If we don’t recognize that we are sick, go to see the doctor (our Lord) for treatment, and ask the doctor to heal our sickness. The virus (sin) we have contracted will never be cured. Some people may think that even if I am infected, or my own body can fight the virus, it is not impossible to slowly return to health myself. My son, I will only tell you in this letter that spiritual viruses are voluntarily infected by human beings, and they cannot be healed by ourselves. Only through confession and repentance will we understand how much the Lord Jesus loves us as the self-seeking human beings. God has lowered his standards to the point that as long as we are willing to bow to Him, He has promised to forgive us. If you don’t bow your head, seek medical advice, don’t let the Holy Spirit illuminate your heart, and don’t repent. You don’t have the ability to experience the reality of the hope of eternal life given by God from salvation to you. Just like a person learning skydiving, he will learn a lot of knowledge and make preparations during his training, but when he jumps out on an airplane for the first time, he will be nervous and worried because he has never tried to jump out of an airplane before. Salvation from God and the hope of eternal life are very similar as a person who has never tried skydiving. No matter how much preparation and knowledge that person has before, when he truly jumps out (leaves the world), he will also feel apprehensive and scared because he has never had such an experience before. But when he, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, is being illuminated the dark side of his inner life, in front of the Lord Jesus. After confessing his sins, repenting, and receiving forgiveness, the salvation and the hope of eternal life that were only the knowledge of his mind will be in his heart. Real fruit has been born in the mind. Therefore, those who have never asked the Lord Jesus to forgive our sins will not truly understand the truth of 1 John 1:9:

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Then, the hope of salvation and eternal life from above is only the knowledge of our minds, not the personal experience of salvation born out of the forgiveness of sins. Since it’s just the knowledge of the mind, we have never experienced forgiveness. Nor have we often experienced the illumination of the Holy Spirit in life, knowing that the Lord really as long as we are willing to confess our sins from the heart, He will forgive us and give peace of forgiveness. How can the hope of eternal life be born from the bottom of our heart? How can we not miss this world and hope to leave this world returning to heaven to meet the God who loves us and forgives our sins? Dad reiterates to tell you the truth again, you must keep it in your heart, Dad only knows that those who are enlightened by the Holy Spirit and confess their sins and repent will truly understand the value of salvation, will have the hope of eternal life and will not breathe at the last breath in the world at a loss not knowing where we would go after death and were afraid. Instead, we are waiting with joy, and eager to return to the heavenly house to see the Lord’s face.

Salvation comes from being revealed by the Holy Spirit in all things, begging God for forgiveness, and being forgiven by God. Only by being forgiven by God, we can truly know the value of salvation and how much our God loves us! The motivation that can change one’s bad habits, even willing to discern the truth of the God who loves us, to be ridiculed or humiliated or killed because of what he testified. This is born from the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the forgiveness of sins, as the result of the response to God’s indomitable love. Our God only asks his disciples such as Peter, Thomas, Paul, etc., who were following their own likes and dislikes, after repenting and confessing their sins, being forgiven by the Lord, and guided by the Holy Spirit, will they go to death without fear, but also to prove the Lord Jesus is the Son of God and our Savior? Moreover, those who are often enlightened by the Holy Spirit and are willing to respond positively and repentantly, because they do not resist the guidance of the Holy Spirit, they will get the presence of the Lord Jesus and the Father, so that those who repent will become good friends of the Most High God and His present every day. The Lord helps you in difficulties, He heals you when you are sick, and He corrects you when there is self-righteousness within you. As John 14:21 and 23 and 15:14-15 said:

“The one who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and the one who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will reveal Myself to him.”
…
Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will follow My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our dwelling with him.”

“You are My friends if you do what I command you.
No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, because all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.”

My son, Dad’s knowledge is limited, but I have never heard of any religion or philosophy, as same as recorded in the Bible by the God who created the heavens and the earth will treat us as friends. It is such a great honor that people will repent and confess their sins and return to the embrace of the Most High God. You can become good friends with the God who created the heavens and the earth, and you will never be separated! Dad used to think that eternal life means being able to return to heaven in the future. Only after repentance did I slowly realize that eternal life defines me as reconnecting with the eternal Creator through repentance, being with him every day and being guided by Him in His present. Because of His eternal life and eternity, no matter where Dad is, I also has the hope of eternal life with God. The Holy Spirit only allows Dad to understand the relationship between salvation and eternal life from the direction of confession and repentance. This is also the most precious experience that I can pass to you with the love of knowing God in my life. Our human lust is like a toilet. Even if you don’t use it, it will slowly stick to the dust. If it is not cleaned at a certain time, it will slowly produce stains. My son, if you feel that the analogy I said is hard to listen to, this is normal, because we, humans, live in a real society where we do not bow our heads and survive the survival of the fittest. Everything must be visible. What is right and valuable in reality is right. No matter what the inside is, the outside must be done decent enough so that it will not be laughed at. We can accept the Most High God who loves us and sent His beloved son Jesus Christ to be crucified for our sins. We counted it as we are blessed. We can accept the blessing, but it will be very difficult for us to bow our heads and confess our mistakes. We would rather think that we are much better than other sinners. God will love us because we have not committed anything sinful in the world. But the Book of Job recorded a fact in 9:2-4,20:

“… But how can a person be in the right with God?
If one wished to dispute with Him,
He could not answer Him once in a thousand times.
Wise in heart and mighty in strength, Who has defiled Him
without harm?
…
Though I am righteous, my mouth will condemn me;
Though I am guiltless, He will declare me guilty.”

A missionary once shared something with me. I remember it like this:

“Jesus came to us because God wants to stay with us. Sin is a block to his purpose. Sin is not the main point, God’s presence in our life is the main purpose of His redemption plan. We repent from our sin because it blocks our connection with God our Lord.  He does not give us a ticket of entrance to Heaven, but He gives Himself to us when we accept Him as our savior.”

My son, the Most High God puts eternal life in the hearts of the people of the world, but God’s deeds cannot be penetrated by the people of the world. When we are guided by the Holy Spirit, we are illuminated with the hidden darkness in our hearts. After we ask God to forgive us, we will continue to be illuminated and ask forgiveness, and then the forgiven heart, will slowly grow a humble and contrite spirit because of God’s unforgettable love. Harmonize with the faith, we are willing to get close to the God who loves us, listen to the Holy Spirit’s teachings in the heart, and read the words of God every day. We are waiting for the Heavenly Father to speak to us through the Holy Spirit when we read the words of God every day, and slowly have the heart of Jesus Christ, no longer easy to be self-righteous even if we are overthrown by the selfish desires in the heart. Because we are not afraid of the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit, we will come back to the Lord and confess our faults. We are forgiven by God so we can stand up again and walk the path that the Heavenly Father wants us to walk in our life. On that path every day, we will see the God who created the heavens and the earth. Our God is a living God and He is leading and walking with the humble people every day.

May the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who bought us with His holy blood, can keep us from living in the Lord, and the Holy Spirit sent from the Father to live in our hearts will always guide you in your heart. To experience His love and mercy, and guide you to understand the truth, so that you will not be afraid of the light of the Holy Spirit in your life, shining in the dark of your heart, cleansing, and walking with God who loves us every day! As long as you are not afraid, come back to Him and let Him examine you. The first few times, although it is uncomfortable, you will know for yourself that God loves you and will no longer be afraid. As 1 John 4:18 said:

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.”

This is my personal experience. I hope the Holy Spirit will let you understand His intentions in your future life. Amen!

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Struck down, but not destroyed (Part 3 of 4)

My son, whoever heard the voice and guidance of the Holy Spirit, how can I describe their experience? The Holy Spirit only reminds me of 1 Corinthians 13:12, where it says:

“For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I also have been fully known.”

So when Dad heard a voice in my heart, sometimes, as recorded in the Bible, it was unclear, like a guessing puzzle. Sometimes, if I guess it correctly, I could fit in with the Spirit of God and could concentrate on reading the Scriptures and praying being unaffected. Sometimes I guess it wrong and get lost, attracted by self-righteous desires. Although I have read the Scriptures, it seems like I haven’t read them at all. After I stand up from the ground, I cannot remember the Scriptures that I read. No matter how hard I try to remember them, I cannot remember them. Son, before Dad truly repented, sometimes after listening to the voices that appeared in my heart, although I seemed to be walking in the light, I slowly realized that I didn’t want to kneel before the Lord every day and read God’s words and pray. And at those times, Dad always felt that my temper was not very good from the inside. Although I seemed to be honest on the outside, I often criticized people and things around me inside, and I felt that those criticisms were right. What’s more, I found that I was paying more and more attention to what others think of me, like a wounded person who would not like others to see his wound. After repentance, I often worry about whether I have really changed, or is this just an illusion and will soon be restored to its original form? Suddenly one day, a very small voice appeared in my heart, calling me to return to the Lord and let Him judge me. Later I learned that this was from 1 Corinthians 4:4:

“For I am not aware of anything against myself; however I am not vindicated by this, but the one who examines me is the Lord.”

Then, in my heart, I slowly understood that the Holy Spirit pointed out the best way for me. That is, going back to the Lord every day, kneeling down, reading the Bible and praying to get close to my God. In this case, if my soul was in conflict with the Holy Spirit, when I knelt down to read the Bible and pray, I was often attracted by other things that appeared in my heart. I didn’t concentrate on reading God’s words, waiting for and longing for Him to speak to me. I don’t know why when I kneel down to read the Bible and pray, the conflict between my soul and the Holy Spirit will be particularly obvious. I only know that what the Holy Spirit said to me about being examined by the Lord is something that really work and it is the best way. Later, I discovered that if I did not follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit in my heart, I would be afraid to read the Bible and pray because I did not listen to His words through Holy Spirit. Just like Adam and Eve, because they did not listen to God’s words and eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, after hearing that God was looking for them, they were afraid and hid. After repentance, Dad is willing to kneel down in the morning and evening every day, reading the Bible and praying to get close to God. One month passed, three months later, six months later, one year later, one year and four months later, I finally finished reading the entire Old and New Testament for the first time in my life. Two years later, I still kneel down willingly, reading God’s words and praying to my God, and letting His Spirit examine me. I am very thankful to my God. One day when I was reading James 3:17, it was recorded there:

“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial, free of hypocrisy.”

Then, I let go of the worries in my heart, knowing that I really repented and began to be changed by the Holy Spirit. I thanked my God from the bottom of my heart. He used the Holy Spirit to make me repent and let me learn to be a new creation.

Finally, Dad understood that the voice that called me to come back to kneel down every day and to be examined by the Lord was really came from the Holy Spirit! Only those who are led by the Holy Spirit, often enlightened by the Holy Spirit, and confess their sins and repent, will have the power from above to be with the Holy Spirit. Dad always feels that before I repent, I am willing to do other trivial things, which makes myself physically and mentally tired, even when I told myself in my heart that I want to read the Bible. It is very strange that bored thoughts appeared in my heart, and I were unwilling to return to God to pray and read the Bible. In retrospect, before I repented, the Holy Spirit did remind me on December 11, 2008, when I read 1 Samuel 15:22-23.

Samuel said,
“Does the LORD have as much delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
As in obeying the voice of the LORD?
Behold, to obey is better than a sacrifice,
And to pay attention is better than the fat of rams.
For rebellion is as reprehensible as the sin of divination,
And insubordination is as reprehensible as false religion and idolatry….”

When I was reading the Scriptures above, there were many ambiguities appeared in my heart, and I remembered that I used to ask myself, why can’t I read the Bible and pray every day for a long time? What is sin? At that moment of reading the Scriptures, the Holy Spirit reminded me of my problem, and I knew that God was responding to me and let me know where my problem was. It was because I only asked for my way, but did not follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit in my heart, and my soul was lost. So, I used other things to try to explain why I could not kneel down and read God’s words and prayers each day. In fact, I just didn’t listen to the guidance of the Holy Spirit in my heart, so I would avoid coming to meet with God intentionally or unconsciously. My son, I try to explain to you with a simple thing. I hope the Holy Spirit will show you what He wants you to understand and accept when you read this article in the future. To put it more simply, it’s similar when you were young, when Mom and Dad asked you to go to bed and rest, you were always reluctant and told us you want to drink water and go to the bathroom. Why did you always drink water and then go to the bathroom when you had to go to bed to rest? And at that time, when you said you wanted to go to the bathroom before going to bed, you seemed to be very happy when you were sitting on the toilet board. In fact, at that time, you didn’t want to go to bed and go to sleep at all!

Son, when I refuse to obey God who created all spirits and the heavens and earth, and only do things that I think are right and beneficial to myself or even to God, my soul from God will be spiritually wounded. Remember the following words as a reminder, maybe in the future, if the Lord is willing, I will explain in more detail in the future letters to you. When my soul is spiritually wounded, I often listen to the rebellious spirit imitating as the angel of light, and guide me in my heart to escape from the discipline of God, to the self-righteous, criticizing the world but not out of love. I did that to let myself feel good about my own self-righteousness and make myself feel that I am much better than those people. I am worthy of God’s love. Therefore, when you one day feel that you are more righteous than others, and are more qualified to criticize those who do bad things, as if you are a judge, thinking that you are righteous and a good person, God will for sure love you. You are so important to God and His Kingdom. If you are not afraid of the cruel reality, you can first try to repeat thinking about the evil things done by the bad guys that appeared in your mind, then close the door and kneel down in the room immediately to pray and read the Bible. If you can resist on those thoughts that make you feel good, instead of being obsessed with those thoughts, you can on the other hand concentrate on thirsting for your God to talk to you at that time, you will know whether you are with the Holy Spirit, are you walking with the Lord?

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Struck down, but not destroyed (Part 1 of 4)

My son, this and the future letters are written for you. You may not fully understand what these letters are mention while you are reading them in the future. As Deuteronomy 29:29 said: “Secret things belong to the Lord our God;”, I can only ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and understand what He wants you to understand. Even understand and experience more than I can write down to you and be more thorough to allow you to return to the Lord every day in your life. You can treat this as the most precious thing that I, as your father, will leave for you in my life. They recorded how the Lord Jesus had mercy on me more than 20 years ago, through the Holy Spirit, I heard His voice, promises, encouragement, and guiding me gradually in returning to His embrace. They also recorded how the Holy Spirit made Dad understand what sin is. Why did only the Lord Jesus come to the world himself and died on the cross for our sins, covering the source of our sinful nature as humans with His blood? Moreover, we need the guidance of the Holy Spirit in our hearts so that we can respond to the Highest God who loves us, we will then be able to give up on our selfishness and be saved! You might think, why did my dad put his most precious experience on the Internet for others to watch, even though his son has not had a chance to see it first? Son, don’t forget, my most precious experience and lessons, I often shared with you in my life. Those are basically what Dad received from the Holy Spirit. It was originally not mine, but the Most High God had mercy on me. So, I have to know and walk the narrow road into the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, if God allows me to say that those didn’t belong to me, I will testify to others that our God is alive. If I do not testify that our God is living among us, I would be like the record in Luke 19:12-27, when the servant received ten minus from the master, but would not do business to earn more. Instead, the servant collected and buried them, wrapped them in a handkerchief, and kept them until the master comes back and is punished. So I can’t just tell you that God is alive and living among us. If other people can know from what I shared, know how much God, who created the world, loves us as sinners and is willing to lay down ourselves to Him, confess our sins and repent, then I will not be punished when I see the Lord Jesus again. And I am always with you, my son, don’t you often hear all the things God has done to me? So, if the Holy Spirit allows me to speak of His love and truth, let others also listen to it.

I will divide the experience of how I met the Most High God into several articles, each with a small fragment of life, to tell you. There are some fragments of life that Dad once told you. But the most important lessons that I learned, because you were still young at that time, so you still could not understand. I will write down the most important things that Dad has learned after every fragment of life. You have to keep it in mind and don’t forget. My son, you often say to me: “Dad, I have heard it, I already know, I already understand, you don’t have to repeat it to me!” Do you know why I often repeat it? It’s because it does not matter what you know, it does not help of what you understand, are you willing to keep it firmly in your heart because of what you know and understand, and be with God? And if you think you know something, you still don’t know what you should know. I don’t want you to think that the Scriptures in the Bible will bother you, so Dad won’t write down all that I have learned from God’s Words in the Bible. If you remember what Dad said, you will read the Bible and pray throughout your life. Then, in the days, the Holy Spirit living in our hearts will remind you of what Dad said to you, all the things He wants to say to you in your heart. But if it’s important, I’ll mention that it can be found in which chapter of the Scriptures. Just as 1 John 2:27, you must keep it in your heart and think day and night. Don’t forget. May the Holy Spirit guard your heart until you meet him again. Amen!

“And as for you, the anointing which you received from Him remains in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you; but as His anointing teaches you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you remain in Him.”

The first time I heard the Holy Spirit spoken to me
At that time, I had just accepted the Lord Jesus as my personal savior, so I read the Bible and prayed as the pastor said. One day, I fell asleep while praying. I woke up after a few minutes. Then I felt very bad. When I spoke to the God who created the heavens and the earth, I fell asleep. I didn’t know why and I wanted to say sorry to God. So I bowed my head and prayed to God and said, “God, I’m sorry, I fell asleep while talking to you. Please forgive me. If you want to rebuke me, please tell me! I am here to listen.” Then I waited quietly in my heart. Suddenly a voice appeared in my heart. I didn’t know where it came from. The voice said to me, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” At that time, in my heart I was surprised. I asked a question to myself from the bottom of my heart, “Can God really speak to us?” I wanted to try again, lest I was daydreaming, so I lowered my head and prayed again, “God, if you really speak to me, will it be ok to say it again please?” Waiting quietly in my heart, suddenly the voice appeared again and said to me, “Don’t be afraid, just believe.” From then on, I could not forget that voice in my life. The voice of the Holy Spirit is full of majesty. I don’t know where it is coming from or where it is going. Although it appeared only lightly many times, it was powerful and full of love. Even if it was a reproach, it was not the same as what the world would be judged by disgust. In it, I only know by now that it is a kind of reproach of love in judgment. In my past experience, most of God’s reproach to me was not just that God used an audible voice to directly say to me or a message appeared in my heart. In many cases, things that happened in the past would appear in my mind. Dad was acting as a spectator to re-sees what I said, thought or did at the scene. So that Dad understood at that moment of what I did and my real motive, to the point that I had no excuse, I would have to ask the Lord to forgive me. Son, you must understand and accept this. This is only the work of the Holy Spirit and Him alone! It is not something that can be changed by self-reflection. If I only know self-reflection and I don’t ask for the Holy Spirit’s enlightenment and forgiveness. Then, I will be best describe of what a friend said to me, I will be similar to a cat constantly chasing its short tail, and I will never catch my tail for my lifetime! John 16:7-13 also has the same record:

“But I (Jesus) tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I am leaving; for if I do not leave, the Helper (Holy Spirit) will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you.
And He, when He comes, will convict the world regarding sin, and righteousness, and judgement:
regarding sin, because they do not believe in Me;
and regarding righteousness, because I am going to the Father and you no longer are going to see Me;
and regarding judgment, because the ruler of this world has been judged.
I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot bear them at the present time.
But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into the truth; for He will not speak on His own, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come.”

Son, I will divide this letter into four parts, so that you can read it slowly and think carefully. I hope that the Holy Spirit who can keep you in His path will bring you back flawlessly through out your life to the Throne of Grace and Justices of the Lord Jesus who loves us, so that you will receive mercy and grace until the day you see our Lord again. Amen!

Preface – Internal Visualization of Testimony, the Calling from Holy Spirit?

I accepted Jesus as the Son of God and my personal Savior for about thirty years.  I made decisions from time to time according to my own will even as a believer. Therefore, I did not see the Grace from God and presence of my God with me every day.  Even though it is the fact, what said in Isaiah 65:1 was truth.

“I permitted Myself to be sought by those who did not ask for Me; I permitted Myself to be found by those who did not seek Me. I said, ‘Here am I, here am I,’ To a nation which did not call on My name.”

The Holy Spirit often used some methods to let me experience how God is calling to His children. But when I shared with other Christians that our God is alive and living among us, others did not have such experience and found it too unbelievable that they could not think through their logical thinking of their own heads, so they did not believe it. A close friend of mine honestly said to me: “These are just your experience. I am not saying that you are lying or that you have a problem with your head. It is okay to listen to it, but I am not there to see it with my own eyes, and there is no way for me to empathize.”

So, before I talked about the God’s love on me, I was moved to write this preface, telling how I saw God’s living deeds in the testimony of other Christians, and how I received what I saw in my heart. Knowing that this is really evidence of the presence of our God with the witnesses. Moreover, I have a question in my heart, I hope that readers can confirm with me that what the visualized testimony in my heart sees is only the personal grace of the Holy Spirit to me, or every child of God, or even for people who have not accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as their personal Savior can have the opportunity to experience themselves. I say or, is because the premise is that no matter what image appears in our heart, it is something that we do not want to remember anymore, or it is seeing our own shortcomings. Or seeing other people’s experiences. If we do not resist the feelings at that moment, do not use our own logical thinking to explain them, and do not mistakenly think that the pastor or witness is outstanding in eloquence, or feel that the other person is scolding me. Or feel that you have never had such an experience, the other party must be lying and so on. More importantly, please do not talk to others for the time being. Just keep the touched things or words in our heart and say to God in prayer: “Jesus, is it you? Are you moving me? Do you have anything you want to say to me?” Then, in the days and times God has set, especially for the children of God, the prayer will be answered when we read the Bible every day. I do not know why I have to do this to see God’s living glory, but in the past two years, this helped me see that God is a living God among us. Since I understand this from the Holy Spirit, I hope more people can see the glory of God every day, and I hope that all glory goes to our God who created the world and lives among us, forever and ever! Amen!

One Sunday morning worship service, I listened to the pastor’s sermon and I felt that the pastor spoke really well. I felt touched in my heart. But at that time, a very small message suddenly appeared in my heart, which said this: “When Samuel was called as a child, he mistakenly thought that Levi was calling him, but I was calling him.” At that time, suddenly a door of cognition was opened in my heart, and I thought, “Why am I so stupid before? I just think that the pastor I can see is preaching well, but I do not understand that Holy Spirit is calling me in my heart.” But I slowly realized that every time I heard the sermon, I was moved. It does not always mean that Holy Spirit is calling me, and I may not because of Holy Spirit calling me to respond to Him. So, every time I was moved, if I was humbled in my soul, I would ask in my heart: “My Lord, is it you? Did you move me?” Sometimes, a small voice appeared in my heart and said: “It is I (or I AM).” Up to now, every time I hear it internally, there is peace in my heart. It makes me feel very familiar, as if I have seen and believed in the Bible. It was the Lord who responded to me. At the time of writing this preface, I seriously searched in the Bible. Why is “It is I” or “I AM” so special, and why does it seem to be so powerful? As a result, I found the answer in John 6:20! In there, Jesus said to the disciples:

“It is I, do not be afraid.”

This is the response that the Lord Jesus made to the disciples’ questions, and it is also a method of response that the Son of God can bring to the believers through Holy Spirit and the words from God in the Bible.  As the Lord Jesus said in John 14:26:

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and remind you of all that I said to you.”

After that, I found that whenever I listened to some Christians telling their testimony, sometimes, in my heart, I seemed to be a personal witness, and I saw the Christian’s story about how Holy Spirit led him/her on the spot. Then, when I was particularly moved, I would shed tears uncontrollably. This was a surprise to me, why my own man’s heart was so weak that I often shed tears. Let me try to give an example to share with readers. When a Christian shared in my church how he was in North Korea because of evangelism, he was locked up in a concentration camp, not seeing the day. Every day in there, he would stand in the prison repeatedly and be interrogated the same questions again and again. When he was cross-examined again one day, he felt the Holy Spirit near him and said to him, “Don’t be afraid, I will increase your strength. They can’t harm you because here you have to testify for me.” When he said Holy Spirit was there giving him power through his right hand to his body, his heart was no longer afraid and had peace. While I listened, a vision appeared in my heart for some unknown reason, in the dim space that seemed to be reality. Everything is darkened. I was also in the prison with him and saw a light. My direct instinct told me that the light was the Holy Spirit. He surrounded the Christian’s right hand and gave power to him through his right hand. At that time in my heart, I was moved by the vision I saw in my heart, and the tears stayed uncontrollably, until I left the auditorium, the tears still could not stop. For this reason, I felt very embarrassed. So, after that, I wondered what the reason was, why the vision appeared in my heart when the Christian was telling his testimony, and why tears were left uncontrollably down? The eloquence of that Christian is not very outstanding, why did I have such a reaction? Why was I so sure in my heart that the light that I saw in my heart was the Holy Spirit? Why couldn’t the light seen in my heart be a lamp on the ceiling of the prison? Since then, I had been having a lot of these questions, and I really wanted to try to understand, what was the vision in my heart? Then, one day, a small voice suddenly appeared in my heart, and said to me softly:

“Who has directed the Spirit of the LORD, Or as His counselor has informed Him?”

After these two sentences appeared in my heart, slowly, my heart seemed to understand something. What I understood was that the Holy Spirit was able to share what He had done with other children of God in others’ heart. Yes, there is only one Holy Spirit, not many. It was sent by the Heavenly Father to guide all His children. Therefore, the same Holy Spirit lives in the heart of all the children of God, consolidates all of them and link them all together. When one day, I was reading Romans 8:16:

“The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God,”

Thinking of this in my heart, I realized that the Spirit of God can really testify for Himself in the hearts of other people. The most important prerequisite is that the children of God who tell their testimony must speak out the original, not adding other extra unnecessary ingredient to it, exaggeration or boasting themselves having the experience. It is because the God who created the heavens and the earth never needs others to exaggerate words that are false or self-exalted, to witness Him! Those witnesses who tell the truth about what God has done to them will return the focus of their testimony to the true God who created the heavens and the earth, and the Holy Spirit will go with them and witness His grace in the hearts of others. And we, the children of God in the audience, because the precious blood of the Lord Jesus flows in our souls, covering our sin of asking for our own way. If we do not activate our logical thinking to analyze and explain the content of the testimony, it will be possible not to be ignored and for us to visualize the testimony sharing by the Holy Spirit. So that we can see God’s deeds on those witnesses. As for those friends who have not accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior, whether they can see in their hearts what the witnesses said about God’s deeds, I was not sure before, but one day in my heart, I once had the following message appeared:

“Every person on earth, their spirit is given by me.”

Then one day, when I read Isaiah 42:5, it said:

“This is what God the LORD says,

Who created the heavens and stretched them out,

Who spread out the earth and its offspring,

Who gives breath to the people on it

And spirit to those who walk in it:”

My question came to my mind again, I then knew that Holy Spirit had guided me to understand the answer He gave me. Since the spirit of all people on earth all come from God, then, I believe that whether they accept the Lord Jesus or not, everyone in this world, the Holy Spirit can touch them in the depths of their souls.

Before writing this article, the author once saw a term called “Inattentional Blindness”, by definition in Wikipedia, which occurs when an individual fails to perceive an unexpected stimulus in plain sight, purely as a result of a lack of attention rather than any vision defects or deficits. It is probably mean that when we, people, only focus on seeing something that we understand or familiar with, other things that are more obvious and can be seemed or felt will become invisible or invisible because of what we are focusing on. But the author himself has this problem. If it were not for the reminder of the Holy Spirit living within me, the author would not have known that I was so ignorant before. I did not know that God was calling me so that I could see God doing wonderful things on the witnesses. Instead, I used all the knowledge I could understand to explain the reason for the touch in my heart, thus ignoring the calling from the Holy Spirit in me. I sincerely hope that all readers of this article will be able to see in their hearts what the Holy Spirit does in the lives of other Christians. I pray that Holy Spirit reviewing to us the Father’s will in His time so that all of us will be able to see the truth of our God in the heart of all of us. HE is alive and has been living in the heart of all sinners including me who have been saved by His Grace and Mercy forever and ever, Amen!

Finally, before the end of this article, I want to share one thing with the readers, as the end of this article, and I also want to use this incident to try to cite with the readers, internal visualization of other testimony is possible. As long as any one of us is willing, will the visualization appear in anyone’s heart? If there is any image in the reader’s mind while reading it, please share it with me after reading this article, I will be very thankful of your sharing. (Until now, a reader responded that he also had the experience of visualization of other testimony in his heart, which proves that this is the power of the Holy Spirit given to the world to experience Him!)

On a Sunday afternoon, I drove to a company that sells timber. After buying dozens of eight-foot-long fences and several seven-foot-long 4″x2″, I found out that there was more than one foot of wood in the trunk cannot be fitted inside the car. Therefore, the tailgate door cannot be closed, and there is no rope to fix the wood in place. At that time, I was wondering whether I needed to rent a truck to send the wood home first. At that time, a small voice appeared in my heart and said to me, “Why don’t you ask me?” Then, I wonder whether this was the voice of the Holy Spirit, so I responded in my heart, “Lord, is it you?” When I asked, a small voice in my heart said to me, “I AM.” Although there was peace in my heart at that time, I still wondered if I was too eager to hear from God so that I were having an illusion deceiving myself. So, I asked in my heart again, “Lord, please forgive me for my lack of confidence. Did you speak to me just now?” Then, the phrase “I AM” appeared again naturally, and this time I recognized the voice of the Holy Spirit. I said to the Lord in my heart, “Lord, the timber at the rear of the car is not tied tightly. Can I go home like this?” Holy Spirit then said to me, “Go with peace.” I hesitated for a while because it did not pass through my mind that I would be safe going home like this. I did not know the reason why and I finally believed. So I closed the rear tailgate door gently on the wood. I slowly drove home from some small roads, and on some up-sloping roads, I prayed in my heart, “Lord please protect me to return home safely, because you told me to go home peacefaully, please don’t make me ashamed of trusting in You.” On the final journey, the biggest challenge was to drive the uphill road for about 10 minutes, and the road was about 30 degree upwards. When I was driving uphill, I turned my prayers into hymns, and sang some ugly songs repeatedly, “Because you told me to return home peacefully, please don’t make me ashamed of trusting in You, O Lord!” Because of this singing of hymns, I did not stop the car before the last 35-degree upwards slope and drove up directly. When I parked in front of the driveway of my house, I got out of the car and went to the back. At the rear of my car, I found that the wood was not thrown out of the rear of my car because of the uphill road. Every piece of the wood was still tightly attached to my car box! I thanked God very much in my heart and said to the Lord, “Lord, I thank you! Thank you for keeping me back home safely! You are worthy of my trust!” Then after this incident, a message appeared in my heart repeatedly. I then slowly and attentively paid attention to it only trying to understand the meaning of the message. The meaning of the message is like this: “If everything has to go through your head, to understand, to analyze before you believe. Then, what you believe is your own understanding, and you do not actually believe in me but believe in yourself. Then, repentance and confession, forgiveness of sins, and the assurance of eternal life will not take root in your heart.” Readers, will the same words be what the Holy Spirit wants to say to you? Does everything has to be analyzed and confirmed by our own brains before we can believe it? There is a phrase called “I believe so that I may understand”. I would rewrite the phrase a little bit to say “I believe so that I may experience.” Also, Hebrews 11:1 and 11:6 said the similar thing:

“Now faith is the certainty of things hoped for, a proof of things not seen.”

“And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for the one who comes to God must believe that He exists, and that He proves to be One who rewards those who seek Him.”

I hope you believe this, listen to the calling of the Holy Spirit in your heart, and truly know that the true God who created the heavens and the earth is alive among us.  May all the glory be to the Lord Jesus Christ who loves us, forever and ever!  Amen!

This article was originally completed by now, but for some reason, in my heart, I always feel that there are still some deficiencies. Until today, I have enlightenment in my heart to know that what I still lack in this article. So, I make up the lack and share it with the readers. The spiritual experience from the Holy Spirit is a two-edged sword. It can bring people closer to the God who created the heavens and the earth. It can also be used by the devil, so that we can slowly get away from God’s will, and we will not even know it. If the spiritual experience we have is used to judge what other people are telling, is it from God? Or is the other party boasting a lie? Then, we sit on the judgement chair where only God can sit on it and become judges ourselves. The secret of victory is to realize that judgement without love is sin. I had also gone through many unexplained lessons and I could not find the reason why I failed to get closer to my God. But one day, I was reading John 12:47-48, I discovered that my Lord Jesus came to the world not for judgement, but to save us from sin by the will of the Father. Only the words came from His mouth from the Father will judge the world in the last days. Then, judgment without love is a violation of the will of the Father and therefore it is sin. In the name of the Lord Jesus, we can drive away the complacency of becoming a judge, and pray for the witness at the same time, and also ask the Lord Jesus to have mercy on ourselves for not loving the witness but trying to judge. In this way, the evil one who can often disturb our minds when we read the Bible and pray, will not have the opportunity to disturb our encounter with our Lord. Because the author often made this mistake, I shared my experience and lessons with the readers here. I pray that the Holy Spirit will protect everyone to overcome such temptations.

Next: Struck down, but not destroyed (Part 1 of 4)

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Previous: Do I have to seek your advice first?

Do I have to seek your advice first?

This was what Holy Spirit told me. It is the best using it to conclude my lesson learned from Holy Spirit from Year 2019 and 2020.

Even though I repented through the touch by the unconditional love of God at the beginning of Year 2019, I still judged and managed my relationship with others by my own personal preferences. Let me give you an example to illustrate my point. When the son of a Christian friend of mine and my son had a play date together, my friend’s son got angry during the game and pushed my son down on the floor. While my son was still crying in the arms of my wife, my friend came to us and said, “If your son like to play with my son, he has to be ready for this kind of situation.” After he said that, he turned and walked away without even asking if my son was ok. After I heard what my friend said, I was very angry internally and asked myself why the children of God with Holy Spirit living within them could say this kind of thing. Afterward, there was a lot of the accusing voice came to my heart and I picked them all up without hesitation. I judged my friend as a hypocrite that cleaning the outside of the cup but inside is full of proud and selfishness. I classified him as one of the people who did not yet repent in front of our God. After a long while, my friend changed suddenly. He became very respectful and not quite selfish anymore. I were very surprised by his change all in sudden and could not figure out why he did not act like what I thought he was anymore. Then, at that moment of puzzling, a small little whispering came to my heart from nowhere. It was Holy Spirit asking me a question. He said, “If I want him to change according to my timetable, do I have to seek your advice first?” At that moment, I aware that I were self-righteous and had sin against my God because of my personal preferences towards others. As it is written on James 4:11-12:

“Do not speak against one another, brothers and sisters. The one who speaks against a brother or sister, or judges his brother or sister, speaks against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge of it.
There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and destroy; but who are you, judging your neighbor?”

I said in my heart to my God that “My Lord, I am a sinner. Please forgive me!” Even I said this to my God, the wrong doings of that brother still came to my mind quite often. I did not want to be dragged into those negative feelings again because I remembered that my Lord Jesus had forgiven my sin. Even with the good will and strength of mine, I still not quite easily escaped from those negative feelings. One day while I read Luke 6:27-37, it said,

“Love your enemies, … pray for those who are abusive to you. … Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Pradon, and you will be pradoned.”

And then later, I read Luke 6:46-48, it said,

“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord.’ And do not do what I say? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them. … He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when there was a flood, the river burst against that house and yet it could not shake it, because it had been well built.”

While I read the above, the struggle I had with the negative feelings came to my mind again. Then, I realized that Holy Spirit was reminding me what I should do against the negative feelings came to my mind. Also, what a missionary shared with me in the past came to my mind on how he commanded the negative feelings away from his heart by the name of our Lord Jesus. It was not the first time that Holy Spirit let me remember naturally what the missionary said. Therefore, I tried to command the negative feelings about my friend by the name of my Lord Jesus and then prayed for my friend and me when he came to my mind again. What I discovered is that it is truth! Those negative feelings were not getting my attention and eventually disappeared after I commanded them going away by the name of my Lord Jesus. If I did think I were right about those judgements and willingly pick them up again, they will not go away. Those negative feelings would still surface in my mind and try to conquer me. Then, Holy Spirit sometimes told me to bow down and pray to ask for forgiveness. When I was willing to do that and ask for forgiveness, those negative feelings would then go away. After I started praying for those brothers and sisters in Christ that did not come to my mind in good term, I discovered that I were growing more and more longing to see my Lord Jesus in heaven one day in eternity. I am longing to see the One who is speaking to me only a few seconds every time in my heart and teaching me how to deal with different things or hardships in my life. I want to say Thank you to Him in person with my own lips.

Although I could bow down to read the Scriptures and pray every day in the morning and evening, I still doubted from time to time that I were not changed completely by my God through Holy Spirit. Would it still be an illusion? Would I fall back to what I behaved as a self-righteous and self-seeking person again? The doubts were brothering me in my heart for a while. Until April 1 in Year 2019, I read John 8:36. It said:

“So if the Son sets you free, you really will be free.”

I asked in my heart to my God, “Am I free in front of you, my Lord?” A few weeks later, I was reading 2 Samuel 12:14. While I read “However, since by this deed you have shown utter disrespect for the LORD,”, there were some blurry pictures appeared in my mind. I was very afraid from the bottom of my heart and broken with sorrow and tears. My direct instinct was telling me that I did something in the past that shown utter disrespect for the LORD. I cried for a few minutes on the floor and kept asking my Lord to forgive me. For the next two days, my mind was kept thinking what I did that caused such a disgrace to my God who loves me so much. Then, there was a message came to my mind like wind from nowhere. The meaning of the message was telling me that “Let it go. I just wanted you to know that you had shown utter disrespect for Me. Do not do it again.” But from my heart, I said, “My Lord, how can I not do it again if I don’t know what I did?” Then, there was another message came to my mind. It was telling me that “you will not do it again if you love me.” At that moment, my tears came out from my eyes. I said to my God, “My Lord, I love! I love you!” If my Lord does not love me, He can let me see exactly what I did in the past in my mind. He could then judge me accordingly and He did not do that. It
is because my Lord truly loves me. He did not put my guilt as of no guilt. When I asked my Lord whether I am free in front of Him, He let me see a blurred vision of my guilt. Then, I had an opportunity to ask for forgiveness in front of Him and He then could forgive me. In my whole life on earth, I will not know what I did to cause utter disrespect to my Lord. It may because of my curiosity or because of my guilt. Even up to now, I still hope to ask my Lord in person about what I did that caused that disgrace to Him when I go back to the heavenly home. There were some brothers in Christ trying to encourage me and said, “Don’t feel guilty anymore. Let it go. Our God had forgiven you.” But one day when I read 2 Corinthians 7:10-11 and it said:

“For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death.
For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter.”

Because of this, I am keeping this experience of forgiveness of my sin from God as a healed wound with a scar. It is also as a reminder to myself on how much my Lord loves me and so I will be reminded not to use my personal preferences against the will of God on me in the future. I shared this forgiveness experience with some other Christians. Some of them were just smiling at me and turned their eyes upward for a second. As if I saw in their facial expression that they said, “Give me a break! God talked to you and you said that He forgave your sins?” Also, there was a Christian came to me in person quietly when no one was around me and told me that “Let me share with you a little secret. You only have to ask for forgiveness one time and you will not need to ask for forgiveness again in your life. It was because our God had forgiven all your sins.” I feel a little bit strange of what he said because it was not what I understand from the Scriptures about forgiveness and repentance. Also, why it would be a little secret? Why would he not say it in front of other Christians and Pastors but came to me quietly to tell me that? Therefore, I prayed to God and asked why he told me that idea. Afterwards, while I read NIV version of Romans 16:17-18 and it said:

“I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them.
For such people are not serving our Lord Christs, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naïve people.”

At that moment of reading the Scriptures, I remembered what I asked my God about the brother who shared with me his little secret. I had a sudden realization that he might think I am a naïve person, a silly man! The feeling of being treated as a silly man made my anger growing gradually inside. For quite some time, the words that that Christian shared with me about “one for all” forgiveness and repentance came very often to my mind while I was reading the Scriptures or during prayers. I would think of how to tell him what he said was wrong and the reason for a long time. It was to the point that affecting the
quality of my time reading the Scriptures and my hope to meet with my Lord. One day when I read Mark 4:14-15 and it said:

“The farmer sows the word.
Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them.”

While I was reading it, the picture of mine reading the Scriptures but unable to remember what I read from the Scripture afterwards came to my mind again. Then, I realized that the seed was taken by Satan from my heart; however, the negative feeling of being treated as a silly man kept coming to my mind. Until I realized that the consequence of picking up those negative feeling was too high in terms of the quality time with my God during prayers and Scriptures reading, I started to ask my Lord to help me when those negative feelings came again. One day a message came to my mind. It was the answer of Holy Spirit to me saying this, “My blood is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” So, I tried to ask the precious blood of my Lord Jesus to cover my sin so that I could focus to read the Scriptures and pray to Him with the hope that my Lord could listen to my prayers in His Heavenly Throne. When the negative feelings about what that Christian said to me came again, I would have the willingness to pray for him and ask my Lord to have mercy on me and on him. Then, I discovered that it was a promised treasure from my God to me that He asked me to pray for my enemies and the others that were not quite lovable to me. It is because the prayers for those people will halt the negative feelings coming to my mind and stop affecting the quality time of my praying and Scriptures reading time. Afterwards, I read 1 John 5:8, it said:

“the Spirit, the water and the blood; and the three are in agreement.”

The New King James Version said it much clear.

“And there are three that bear witness on earth, the Spirit, and the water, and blood: and these three agree as one.”

While I were reading it, I remembered most of the time up to now, I still feel my soul/spirit was shaking like water pouring into a red-hot frying pan. So, I realized that it was truth the three were in agreements in me. The following is my understanding without asking my God. I do have peace from above to share with you. I hope in the future, while I am reading the Scriptures again, Holy Spirit can confirm with me through His words of this understanding. The water is representing the repentance of sins through our Lord Jesus. Holy Spirit and the precious blood of Jesus are in agreement to review the truth and expose the sinful nature of sin from my flesh to me so that I can ask my Lord to forgive me. My Lord will use His precious blood to cover my sin as He promised and lead me going back to Him walking with Him in my whole life. This is my understanding.

Holy Spirit reviewed to me many times that He did not need me to use wise words or knowledge to witness Him. He only instructed me to tell all He had done on me plainly to others. How He reviewed my sins to me. How I asked for forgiveness and how He gave me strength and power to overcome my own sins. I only needed to share this plainly. He will witness Himself as a living God to the chosen others according to His plan and time. They will not see anything from me but Him and Him alone as a living God. I struggled for a long time inside because I asked “Could I witness you using something better other than telling others how bad I was and how you forgave me? My Lord, I still have a little bit of social status that I do not want to trash it into the garbage tank.” For a while, Holy Spirit still reminded me that I shall not be ashamed of the gospel that saved me. One day, while I read Romans 11:33-34, it said:

“Oh, the depth of the riches, both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgements and unfathomable His ways!
For WHO HAS KNOW THE MIND OF THE LORD, OR WHO BECAME HIS COUNSELOR?”

I remembered my struggle and what Holy Spirit reviewed to me. Then, I understood that my Lord did not need me to use wise words to witness Him. Even with this understanding, I were still worry that I were out of my mind as I did not see often Christians using this way of telling plainly to witness God. Am I walking into the dead corner of my mind? Later, I read John 7:18, it said:

“The one who speaks from himself seeks his own glory; but He who is seeking the glory of the One who sent Him, He is true, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.”

I remembered my concern naturally while I were reading the above Scriptures. Then, I knew that Holy Spirit was responding to my concern. From then on, I become fully clear that I will only have to tell others plainly of how my Lord is leading me going towards Him. This is what my Lord is asking me to do.

Do you see Jesus in my life? Do you know that Jesus is the living God who is living in every children of God on earth? Did the One who made the outside not make the inside also? The spirit of a person is the lamp of the LORD, Searching all the innermost parts of his being. Do you know when our Lord Jesus return on earth again, He will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of human hearts?

The heart of human beings is the most troublesome container on earth. When people said something that our heart did not like, we would think that they were talking about us. When people said something that we felt lacking, we would think automatically that who do you think you are. How dare you said this to me? Do you think you are God or so holy that can say this to me? Please do not too quick to make this kind of statement in your heart. Who am I with any power that can cause the flashback of some unpleasant memory popped up in your mind again? If it was not me with any supernatural power, do you think it may be Holy Spirit trying to review something and speak to you? You can ask our God within your heart and He will answer you. It is because the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.

In the past, I was blind. God had mercy on me forgiving my sins. I got this undeserved Grace from God and He opened my eyes to understand what His salvation is. He healed my heart and reviewed to me what is God’s love? God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us on the cross. With His precious blood to cover our sins, we can make peace with God and walking with Him every day on earth for our eternal life.

If the reader knew me and I had hurt you in anyway in the past, I sincerely apologize to you. Please forgive me! My God has forgiven my sins. Please do not make the mistake that I made in the past. Being self-righteous and being asked by Holy Spirit the question of “If I want him to change according to my timetable, do I have to seek your advice first?”

Do you know what Apostle Paul said in 1 Timothy 1:15-17 was truth and his personal experience? I have a very thick skin on my face and do not feel shameful to borrow this Scriptures. Adding together with
my personal experience, I used the following to conclude what I learned from my God in the last two years.

“Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I do not even know what I did that shown utter disrespect for the LORD. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display His immense patience as an example for those who would believe in Him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever, Amen!”

Next: Preface – Internal Visualization of Testimony, the Calling from Holy Spirit?

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